First Day After A Night Shift...

I woke up this morning, before the kids and without my husband. Last night was his first night shift at the hospital in over 2 years. I realized, as I was making my morning coffee, that we wouldn't wake up together in the same bed anymore. Well, wake up together when our little ones came in and woke us up that is. With this schedule now, our mornings are: he's either waking up at 6am to get ready for his 24 hour shift, coming home from the hospital at 8am and going to sleep, or coming home from the station at 9am. No more staying in bed until our littles come to get us. No more slowly waking up. I also love sleeping next to my husband, which is also being taken away from me. I'll sleep next to my husband 1 maybe 2 nights per week now. And that makes me really sad. However, after thinking about everything, I had to think about why he made the switch to nights from days. When he was working day shift at the hospital, his schedule was this: if he worked a Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday schedule at the fire department, it would be 24 hr Sunday, off Monday, 12 hour shift tuesday (which really means more like 13/14 with drive time), 24 hr Weds, sometimes he'd do an 8 hr on thurs (so get home at 9am from the station and go into the hospital at 11am), 12 hrs on Friday and 24 hours on Saturday. He never saw the kids working day shift at the hospital. When he works at the station he sees them for 20 minutes before he has to leave for work and then is gone 24 hours. When he works at the hospital he's gone before they get up and home after they're in bed. They hardly ever saw us together and family time was almost non-existent. It just wasn't fair. Now that they're getting older, they need their dad. They need both parents. Together. In the same house. Last night was so very telling to us as we sat down to our first family dinner in ages. My oldest, Cora (almost 5), says "I love this family dinner. I love that we're all here. I'm so happy." And for all the heartache I was feeling about myself not being able to do the silly "little" things like go to bed and wake up with my husband, her statement made all of those feelings disappear. My life, our lives (mine and Tim's) are not about us anymore. It's all about the babies. We'll squeeze in "us" time. But, for right now, it's important our kids see us together during the day, interacting with one another, seeing how much love mommy and daddy have for each other and for them. This is what matters and is important to us.

The kids woke up at their usual 7:20am and had their usual routine: come downstairs, give me a big good morning hug and kiss, I get them their juice/water, and they watch Wild Kratts or Daniel Tiger as I start preparing breakfast. Well, they got the surprise of their life when their dad walked through the door at 7:45am! They were so confused but SO happy! Cora ran to him, hugged him, and wouldn't let go. He got to help me entertain them and snuggle them while I got their breakfast ready and clothes picked out for the day. He helped me dress them and got to see Cora off to school. It was so so nice. As I was walking out the door to get the kids in the car he says to me, "I like this schedule already. I'm exhausted, but this will be worth it." I think so, too!

I got the kids in the car, dropped Cora at school and then it was off to Trader Joe's with my other two. I love food shopping in the morning because there's nobody there! We shopped, came home and unloaded groceries. I sat down with my middle as my littlest played and did a writing workbook with her. She's doing awesome with her letter and number writing and recognition! Before we knew it, it was time to pick Cora up from school. So off we went to grab her, brought her home, and as we were walking in the door, Cora asks, "Mom, is dad still here?" I said, "Yes, honey!" She whips her coat off, throws her shoes, and bolts like lightning up the stairs! I hear, "Daddy, daddy, daddy! I'm home!" It completely melted my heart. She's so beyond excited to have her daddy here! :) Tim slept a little while longer while I got the kids their lunch, Ben down for a nap, and the girls ready for quiet time. During quiet time, Tim was still upstairs, so I sat down on the couch with the girls and they snuggled right up to me. I love, beyond, love these moments.  As we were sitting on the couch, my Cora grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy, I love when  you snuggle me." My heart melted. As quiet time ended, Tim and Ben were both up. Cora, very persistently, kept asking if we could carve pumpkins, so that's what we did this afternoon. It was so much fun...for Tim and I ;) The kids left us high and dry to do the dirty work. We finished up, I got dinner in the oven, and we went for a walk. It was an absolutely perfect fall day! We came home, Tim bathed the kids while I finished dinner and got it on the table. After dinner, Tim lit the candles in the pumpkins. The kids LOVED it! Their reactions were priceless! What a fun, fun day. That would have never happened had Tim worked during the day. This was perfect, absolutely perfect. Yes, I won't be able to sleep next to him or wake up with him at a decent hour, but these moments, these reactions, are 100% worth the sacrifice. And I wouldn't have it any other way.