Family Day #2...This Week!

Today started out like any other day following a fire station day. The kids and I got up, followed our normal morning routine, got them and myself dressed and out the door to drop Cora at school and came home. Usually, on the mornings Tim is coming home from the fire station, he beats us home. Well, this morning he didn't. "Don't panic...yet" was the thought that raced across my mind. I got the younger two out of the van and into the house. I tidied up a bit (it looks like a tornado blows through the house when the girls decide to get dressed downstairs), and then sat down and started playing with the kids. We were in the living room when we heard the back door open. Ben went racing into the kitchen and I was right behind him. There he was. My fireman. Home safe and sound. And not only that, but he was standing there with these!:

 I couldn't believe it. "For me?!" "Yes!" he said. And when I asked why? His reply was, "Just because. I love you, babe!" And this, among millions of reasons, is why I am head over heels in love with him. 

As the day went on, we ran a few errands. Together! It may not seem like a big deal, but when you only see your husband a couple of times per week and are used to doing the running around with kids by yourself, it was nice to not only have the extra set of hands and eyes, but it was nice to have the company as well :) After running errands, it was time to pick Cora up. I walked into school, just me, to get her. When we walked out, she asked if daddy was home yet. She had no idea that Tim came with me to pick her up. So, Tim got out of the car, closed the door, and ducked low to the ground so that Cora couldn't see him. When she walked around the side of the van to get in, there was her daddy! She leaped into his arms and gave him a big, huge hug and asked if he was home all day. When he answered 'yes!', I thought maybe she might jump to the moon ;) We came home, made some lunch, got Ben down for a nap, and the girls down for quiet time. 

After everyone was up, it was about 2, and I wanted to get dinner in the oven before we took the kids for a walk. Well, I tried brining a chicken for the first time ever. I put a whole chicken in salt water for a day and a half and then put it in the oven at 300F for 3 hours. It turned out awesome!

While the chicken was cooking, we decided to take the kids on a walk and then to the park. Now, the park that we usually take the kids to also has walking trails that we usually walk before we play. Well, when I told them where we were going, Cora had a COMPLETE melt down. I mean, meltdown. Screaming, from her gut, like she was scared, that she didn't want to go. I didn't understand. So, after her sitting in my lap for a few minutes, begging me not to take them there and to take them to another park instead, I finally calmed her down and got out of her that she was afraid she was going to get poison ivy while on our walk or that Benny or sis would get it too. I reassured her that no one is going to get poison ivy (You can't get it unless you walk into the woods)! Could you imagine being that scared to get poison ivy? I felt awful. But, we took her there anyway. For a couple of reasons: 1. to show her that no one will get poison ivy and 2. to teach her that just because you're scared of something, doesn't mean you run away or take the easy way out (ie. the other park). We went on our walk and everyone came out alive and WITHOUT poison ivy! :) Cora was so happy and so proud of herself for being so brave. I was SO incredibly proud of her too!:) 

After the walk, we let them play at the playground for a little bit. And let me just add how fun playgrounds are for me now. For the last three years, I've had a baby every time we've gone to a playground, so I haven't ever been able to climb a jungle gym with the kids, or slide down slides with them, because I've always either had a baby on me or in a stroller. Today was awesome :) I climbed the jungle gym, and slid down the slides, and ran around with them. So much fun!

After the park, we came home, I finished dinner and we all ate. Together. As a family. For the second time this week! And the girls were beyond excited. So far, night shift is great :) 

I got Tim out the door, got the kids bathed, and followed our normal bed time routine: bedtime snack (yogurt), brush teeth, potty, read stories (same two stories every night: Little Blue Truck and Marvelous Toy), prayers, hugs and kisses, I love you's, lullabies, and then sweet dreams :) 

I feel this mommy-hood thing getting easier everyday. Maybe it's because we're in a groove, maybe it's because they're getting older. Maybe it's because of both. Either way, it's been nice. I'm now enjoying my days instead of "getting through" them. And I'm so grateful for each and every one of them. :)

Station Day...

Why is it that most days I feel so run down? So beaten up? So worthless? For a couple of  reasons, I think. 1. All I've know or done the last five years is carry a baby, nurse a baby, raise a baby, raise a family, and try to maintain my marriage, my friendships, and my relationships with my immediate family. And 2. I haven't really done anything for myself. On a consistent basis anyway. I've done a few things for myself here and there: A pedicure (maybe 2 in the last 5 years), haircuts (once a year), dinners with girlfriends (once in a blue moon), dates with my husband (here and there). But never anything consistent. So, this morning I woke up and said, "I'm treating myself today." So, I got Tim out the door to the station, got the kids their breakfast, got them and myself ready and loaded into the car and dropped Cora at school. I put the other two back in the car and off we went to Dunkin', my most favorite place to get coffee...ever. It is, hands down, the BEST coffee I've ever had. So, I treated myself. And not only did I treat myself to coffee, I went to one with a drive thru. No getting kids into and out of carseats more than I had to today! It was wonderful and it put me in a great mood.
 So, I'm thinking I'm going to do this more often. Treat myself. It doesn't have to be anything big. Something, as simple as coffee, could turn your day completely around. So, treat yourself, if you haven't. You deserve it!

Well, because I had forgotten a few things on my grocery list yesterday, we had to run to the store. Well, Earth Fare was right down the road, so we ran there for a minute. While we were there, Lyla had asked if she could get a chocolate chip cookie. Now, if you've never had an Earth Fare Chocolate Chip Cookie, you need you get one. Now. Make that the treat you give to yourself! They are heavenly! And my kids think so, too!

 Yes, they're messy. But, that smile is so worth the mess! 

After Earth Fare, and treating ourselves, we went home. Lyla did her workbook and Ben and I put some laundry away. Well, Ben watched Mickey Mouse, and I put laundry away. Before I knew it, it was time to get Cora. So, I loaded the younger two in the van and off we went. Unloaded them, waited for Cora, got all three back into the van and headed home. I got lunch on the table, got Ben down for a nap and the girls down for quiet time. I got some catching up done around the house, made myself some breakfast/lunch/snack/probably dinner too and just like that, Ben was up and quiet time was over. Why do naps and quiet times always go so much faster than anything else during the day? Well, when Ben woke up from his nap, he wasn't happy about it. And when I walked into his room he was so sad with huge crocodile tears. I'm not really sure what happened. Bad dream maybe? But, either way, I got his blankets and his pillow (because he won't leave his room without his pillow) and went downstairs. I sat him down on the couch and he screamed when he realized I wasn't going to be sitting next to him. He grabbed my shirt and started screaming. So, I sat down. And, wouldn't you know, the minute I sit down, he's fine ;) 

 He is definitely a momma's boy. And I'm 100% okay with it. :) He stayed snuggly for another minute or so and then he was over it.;) So, we got off the couch, got a snack and went outside for a walk. What another beautiful fall day! When we got home, we played a little, the girls helped me sort laundry and load the washing machine. We came upstairs, played some more, and I roasted some pumpkin seeds and then started dinner. The pumpkin seeds turned out awesome! I tossed them in EVOO with sea salt and roasted them at 400F for 10 minutes. Perfect! And the kids LOVED them! 

 

After dinner, I do the dinner dishes and while I'm doing that the kids clean up the downstairs. When we're all done cleaning we head up for bath time. So, we head upstairs and I start the water (when I start the water, it's always on the warm setting, so just in case someone ends up in the tub before I say it's ok, it's not hot). I head into Ben's room to get his room and his bed ready for bed as well as his jammies set out. Well, while I was doing this, as I do every night, I usually hear him in the bathroom clanking cups and toys against the tub (outside of the tub), opening and slamming cabinet doors, opening and slamming the toilet lid. But, tonight, it was quiet. All I heard was running water. Hmmm. So, I dropped what I was doing, went into the bathroom and found this:

Yep, he learned how to climb in the tub tonight. I couldn't even be mad. He was so happy and proud of himself that I just had to laugh and smile right back at him. Thank goodness bedtime was just around the corner! ;) I got his clothes off and the girls jumped in with him. I got everyone bathed, came downstairs for our bedtime yogurt, brushed their teeth, pottied the girls, and read our bed time stories. I tucked everyone in, gave big hugs and kisses, sang our night time songs and said our I love you's. And they went to bed. Ahhhhh. 

What a day. What another awesome day. Although we were daddy-less today, it was still a great day. And I owe it all to my mood-changing-treat-yourself coffee. :)

First Day After A Night Shift...

I woke up this morning, before the kids and without my husband. Last night was his first night shift at the hospital in over 2 years. I realized, as I was making my morning coffee, that we wouldn't wake up together in the same bed anymore. Well, wake up together when our little ones came in and woke us up that is. With this schedule now, our mornings are: he's either waking up at 6am to get ready for his 24 hour shift, coming home from the hospital at 8am and going to sleep, or coming home from the station at 9am. No more staying in bed until our littles come to get us. No more slowly waking up. I also love sleeping next to my husband, which is also being taken away from me. I'll sleep next to my husband 1 maybe 2 nights per week now. And that makes me really sad. However, after thinking about everything, I had to think about why he made the switch to nights from days. When he was working day shift at the hospital, his schedule was this: if he worked a Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday schedule at the fire department, it would be 24 hr Sunday, off Monday, 12 hour shift tuesday (which really means more like 13/14 with drive time), 24 hr Weds, sometimes he'd do an 8 hr on thurs (so get home at 9am from the station and go into the hospital at 11am), 12 hrs on Friday and 24 hours on Saturday. He never saw the kids working day shift at the hospital. When he works at the station he sees them for 20 minutes before he has to leave for work and then is gone 24 hours. When he works at the hospital he's gone before they get up and home after they're in bed. They hardly ever saw us together and family time was almost non-existent. It just wasn't fair. Now that they're getting older, they need their dad. They need both parents. Together. In the same house. Last night was so very telling to us as we sat down to our first family dinner in ages. My oldest, Cora (almost 5), says "I love this family dinner. I love that we're all here. I'm so happy." And for all the heartache I was feeling about myself not being able to do the silly "little" things like go to bed and wake up with my husband, her statement made all of those feelings disappear. My life, our lives (mine and Tim's) are not about us anymore. It's all about the babies. We'll squeeze in "us" time. But, for right now, it's important our kids see us together during the day, interacting with one another, seeing how much love mommy and daddy have for each other and for them. This is what matters and is important to us.

The kids woke up at their usual 7:20am and had their usual routine: come downstairs, give me a big good morning hug and kiss, I get them their juice/water, and they watch Wild Kratts or Daniel Tiger as I start preparing breakfast. Well, they got the surprise of their life when their dad walked through the door at 7:45am! They were so confused but SO happy! Cora ran to him, hugged him, and wouldn't let go. He got to help me entertain them and snuggle them while I got their breakfast ready and clothes picked out for the day. He helped me dress them and got to see Cora off to school. It was so so nice. As I was walking out the door to get the kids in the car he says to me, "I like this schedule already. I'm exhausted, but this will be worth it." I think so, too!

I got the kids in the car, dropped Cora at school and then it was off to Trader Joe's with my other two. I love food shopping in the morning because there's nobody there! We shopped, came home and unloaded groceries. I sat down with my middle as my littlest played and did a writing workbook with her. She's doing awesome with her letter and number writing and recognition! Before we knew it, it was time to pick Cora up from school. So off we went to grab her, brought her home, and as we were walking in the door, Cora asks, "Mom, is dad still here?" I said, "Yes, honey!" She whips her coat off, throws her shoes, and bolts like lightning up the stairs! I hear, "Daddy, daddy, daddy! I'm home!" It completely melted my heart. She's so beyond excited to have her daddy here! :) Tim slept a little while longer while I got the kids their lunch, Ben down for a nap, and the girls ready for quiet time. During quiet time, Tim was still upstairs, so I sat down on the couch with the girls and they snuggled right up to me. I love, beyond, love these moments.  As we were sitting on the couch, my Cora grabbed my hand and said, "Mommy, I love when  you snuggle me." My heart melted. As quiet time ended, Tim and Ben were both up. Cora, very persistently, kept asking if we could carve pumpkins, so that's what we did this afternoon. It was so much fun...for Tim and I ;) The kids left us high and dry to do the dirty work. We finished up, I got dinner in the oven, and we went for a walk. It was an absolutely perfect fall day! We came home, Tim bathed the kids while I finished dinner and got it on the table. After dinner, Tim lit the candles in the pumpkins. The kids LOVED it! Their reactions were priceless! What a fun, fun day. That would have never happened had Tim worked during the day. This was perfect, absolutely perfect. Yes, I won't be able to sleep next to him or wake up with him at a decent hour, but these moments, these reactions, are 100% worth the sacrifice. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Beginning of Fire Wife and Mom of 3

I'm Anna. I'm the fire wife and mom of three. The life of a fire family is a crazy one. It's inconsistent schedules, its overtime, it's side jobs, it's craziness, it's fun, it's lonely, it's overwhelming, it's satisfying, it's encouraging, and so many other things only fire wives and fire families can comprehend. And this is why I've decided to start this blog. There have been so many times, a midst the chaos and the loneliness, where I've thrown my arms up, looked up to God and said, "There has to be someone else who is going through this right now." My hope for this blog is to give, not only myself, but others who can relate, an outlet, encouragement and security in knowing that we're not alone in this awesomely crazy journey.

I've been married to my fireman, Tim, for five years. We married in August of 2008 and it's been go, go, go ever since. Let me rewind (not far, I promise!) We met in nursing school in 2006 during our last clinical of senior year (we were in the same clinical group). The first time I saw him it was instant butterflies.:) We dated a little on and off throughout our last semester of nursing school and it quickly ended once we graduated. I moved back home and he stayed in Toledo. Our communication was strong at first and then the long distance and our lack of motivation caused the relationship to fizzle. I started working in an ICU back home and keeping busy with work, friends, going out, dating, etc. As busy as I kept, he was always in the back of my mind. I would compare every guy I dated to him. I constantly thought of him and always wanted to see him, but I knew it would never work and, as stubborn as I was, didn't want to make the first move. If he wanted to talk to me, he would. Right? Well, 6 months had gone by since we had last talked and I was just about to go on yet, another date, with another joe schmoe when I couldn't stop thinking about him. So, on a whim, I texted him and just said, "Hey. It's been a while, but I hope you're doing well." He texted me back. And it was back in the day of the flip phone. So, all I could see was "TIM sent you a message". My heart sank and was beating a million beats per minute, my mouth all of a sudden bone dry. I pushed "OK" to read the message. "Hey, yeah, it has been. How have you been?" We kept conversation going for just a bit before he said, "I'm back home and will be driving through your town, would you want to meet for lunch?" I agreed (OF COURSE!). We kept talking and eventually it became a real relationship. Fast. We began "talking" in February, exclusive in March, he said he loved me in April, and moved in with me in May (temporarily). He found a job at a near by hospital and moved in with a couple of buddies a couple of months later. Our relationship only grew over that year. We were head over heels in love with each other.

Well, fast forward to April of 2008 (dating a little over one year). We find out...we're expecting. I/we couldn't believe it. We were in shock. And, for some reason, a little part of me thought that he wouldn't stick around. The thought left as quickly as it came. After the initial shock settled, I remember him saying, "everything will be fine. We're in this together." We were married a few months later, in August, bought our first house in September, and had our first baby (girl) in December.

 And ever since THEN, it's been go, go, go! Fast forward (almost) five years and here we are. I left my job as a nurse a few months after I had Cora, my first. Tim and I decided that it would be best for our family if I stayed home and raised her. What a privilege and a blessing that was (and still is). Since then, we've added two more: Lyla, who's now 3, and Ben who's now 1 1/2. I'm still at home and have my days where I really just want to go back to working as a nurse; get out of the house a little and make some money so Tim doesn't have to work so much. But then I have my days where I couldn't imagine doing anything else but this. And trust me, this is WORK. I worked in the trauma/surgical ICU at the only level one trauma center in the city, and that was a cake walk compared to what I'm doing at home. Someone once asked me, "So, what do you do?" and I replied with, "I'm just a stay at home mom." They said, "JUST a stay at home mom? Don't ever underestimate what you do. Don't belittle your title. It's the most important job in this world." They're right. Molding, nurturing, caring for, and loving these little beings that I've created is MY job. No one else can raise them the way I want them raised except for me. So, at this very minute, I'm still wanting to stay home and raise my babies full time. And I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to do so.

Being a stay-at-home mom comes at a price. My husband works upwards of 100 hours per week some weeks. And it's not easy...on anyone. He works his 48-72 hours per week at the fire station and then works 24-32 hours per week at the hospital. Up until recently he was working day shift as a nurse in the emergency department at the hospital. His shifts start at 7am (so he leaves the house around 6:30a-before the kids get up) and isn't off work until 7:30pm, which means he's not home until 8pm or so, and the kids are asleep by the time he gets home. He sees them once sometimes twice per week. It's not fair to him and it's not fair to the kids, or me. So, tonight he started working night shift at the hospital. Hopefully this will be a better solution? :)

Now, let me rewind to how this whole fire fighting idea came to be. About 4 years ago, on our way home from a dinner at my parents house, Tim presented the idea to me. He had said he was talking to my dad and my dad had asked if he'd ever considered it. Tim said 'no', but said he'd really think about it and talk to me. Now, my dad is also a fireman. I grew up in a fire family. So, I know the lifestyle. Right? Wrong. (And I'll get to that later!). So, thinking I know everything that comes along with being a fire family, I jump right on board and give him my immediate yes. At this point, we only have our first. She's 10 months, and I was also pregnant with our second. So, my husband starts his research into becoming a firefighter and enrolls in the first of a few classes. First came the EMT school. So, while working full time, he's now also in school and doing ride time for his class while also juggling fatherhood, being a husband (and a good one at that), yard work, etc. He passes that class and then enrolls into paramedic school. In the mean time, we have our second and he was able to stay home for a bit before starting back up again with school. And when he did, it was the same deal: class, ride time, work full time, family, house, etc. He passed that and began his fire school. He absolutely fell in love the second he started and really felt like this is where his heart was. I was beyond happy for him. He passed fire school. First in his class! I don't think I could have been any prouder of anyone than I was of him! And as soon as he graduated, he interviewed and landed a job at the department he's at now. Also the same one my dad is on ;) And the same shift; which is very helpful when it comes to holidays.

Tim had been on the department a couple of weeks when we found out we were expecting baby number 3 :) I was ecstatic, and OVER THE MOON excited for this! I was also a little apprehensive and scared for the craziness that lie ahead. Tim was working his 32-36 hours at the hospital and his 48-72 hours per week. Mean time, I'm home raising our two girls, who at the time were 1 and 2 1/2. Raising a baby and a toddler while pregnant was a challenge, to say the least, and now we're about to throw a newborn into the mix. Why not?;) Now I'll go back to why I thought, when Tim presented the fire fighter idea, I knew the lifestyle so well and quickly came to realize I didn't even know half of what goes into being a part of a fire family. Being on the other side, the parent side, is completely different than being a child living in a fire family. As a child, I only saw that dad was away for 24 hours. No big deal. My mom was truly superwoman. She not only worked full time, but she had help for us after school, made sure dinner was on the table, bathed and put us to bed and then made lunches for the next day, cleaned up around the house, did laundry, laid out all of our clothes, went to bed and started all over the next day.  Being a fire wife is completely different. You're mommy and daddy all rolled into one person on the days your fireman is gone. You're the sole decision maker. If your husband works side jobs, it's easy to feel like a single parent.  It's easy to feel completely alone, even when surrounded by the love and loud the babies bring.  It's work. It's patience. It's dedication. It's perseverance. It's communication. It's encouragement; from both your and your fireman, because you're both sacrificing. It's love. And making sure at the end of every day, it's about love; the love you have for your firefighter, the love he has for you and the love you have for your children.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years, and here we are. Adjusted to Tim's schedule (yes, it really took this long), juggling three kids (on my own most weeks), and finally feeling content with where I am and what I'm meant to be doing; raising my children, loving my husband, and being the best person I can.

I'm really looking forward to sharing the ups, the downs, the fun, the sad, the crazy, the stress, the joy and the love of being a fire wife. Because, truly, there's just nothing like being a part of a fire family. It's unique. It's different. It's awesome. And I love every bit of it.